Module 3 : the sacred and the sexy
Secrets of the Yoniverse:
Dearmoring the Past
Dearmoring the Past
Dearmoring is hands down one of the most transformative tools that should be in every woman’s toolbox. De-armouring is a process in which we can release our sexual blockages, transform pain and get rid of numbness so we can re-connect to our natural sexual potential and experience more pleasure, wetness, internal orgasms, and love.
Similar to a deep tissue massage, de-armouring is a process of applying pressure to places of contraction and tightness inside the vaginal canal for the purpose of releasing physical, spiritual and emotional blockages.
During de-armouring, pressure spots are released, toxins are broken down and the blood flow is increased to the sexual tissues so that emotional, physical, and psychological healing can take place.
I had no idea how much pleasure was blocked in my body until I found this practice. I thought I experienced a good amount of pleasure although it would vary depending on who I was with and how I felt around them. I would mostly have one type of orgasm in the clitoris. After dearmornig my body, I can experience different and deeper orgasms.
There are a few different types:
Clitoral Orgasm is called sahajoli, or "the thunderbolt," because the clitoris has over 8,000 nerve endings. That's twice as many as a penis! Activating these nerve endings creates an incredible amount of electricity. In tantra, this type of orgasm travels up the front of the body and feels like a "high note.”
The glans clitoris is the name of the part that most people call the “clitoris.” It is the external part of the clitoris, about the size of a pea, and is located above the urethra. Because the glans is the most highly innervated area of the clitoris, it’s extremely sensitive to touch.
The function of the glans clitoris is to detect sensation and stimulation. Unlike the rest of the clitoris, the glans does not swell or grow during the female sexual response, as it does not contain erectile (expandable) tissue.
Just above or on top of the glans is the clitoral hood, which is formed by the two sides of the connecting labia minora. Clitoral hoods can vary in size and degree of coverage from person to person.
G-spot orgasm refers to the erotic spot on the front side of the vaginal wall. To find the G-spot, curve your first two fingers like the letter C and slide them into the vagina. Feel for a little soft spongy piece of skin behind the clitoris. You can massage it by making a come-hither movement with your curved fingers. Vary between fast and slow strokes. You can also tickle the clit simultaneously at the tip or place pressure on or above the pubic bone.
Vaginal orgasm centers around the root lock at the cervix, which is, energetically, both psychological and spiritual. It's a full-on, no-holding-back orgasm The energy of this orgasm travels through the center of the spine and activates at the heart
The cervical orgasm is like the holy grail of orgasms. This one takes a lot of focused attention and tools that are long enough to work on the cervix directly be it a dildo, crystal wand or a penis. C-spot orgasms are less about the cervix itself and more about the orgasmic experience as a whole.
Cervical orgasms have been described as fully-body, powerful orgasms that come in deep waves. The Cervix can be painful to touch at first so you will need to work up to relaxation and dearmor this area with a lot of mindfulness and intention.
After just a few sessions of Dearmoring, you have the potential to totally transform your yoni and train yourself to experience deep, internal orgasms.
The yoni is the most receptive space in your body so it makes sense that this is where most of our “not so awesome” experiences have come to settle ie..comments, sex before we are fully relaxed and ready, abuse, negative cultural messaging around our bodies, surgery, abortions, miscarriages, pain during sex…just to name a few!
This can show up as physical sensations (or lack there-of) and certain behavioral patterns and it profoundly impacts the way sex/pleasure is experienced. Our sexual tissues which would normally be relaxed and open to sexual pleasure or energy moving through them, actually become contracted in different areas. It’s the body's response to the emotional, physical or energetic pain.
These spots of contraction often located in the vagina are actually pockets of built-up pressure and when touched are often sore, numb or create an emotional response such as anger, grief, sadness etc they can also cause numbness in the vagina, anxiety in the bedroom, low libido and sexual shutdown. But the beauty of this is, we can heal ourselves!
We can transform pain into pleasure.
And, you always have access to this healing, no waiting for someone else to do it for you. We will focus on solo practice but this can be done with a partner. It’s a beautiful experience to empower your partner to map out your yoni and get to know the pain and pleasure spots inside. You set up a time for your partner to give to you without any expectations of giving back. This alone can be very healing.
We do this practice with fingers, a jade egg or a crystal wand/dildo. It’s nice to have a tool that is longer than your fingers as most women can’t reach their own cervix with comfort and remain relaxed at the same time AND the stones are nice because have added leverage for pressure. You can also do this process without anything internally, but it’s easier to create a mind-body connection when something is inserted into the vagina.
The most important keys are to listen to your body, go slow and release any and all judgment.
Giving yourself permission to fully express your emotions throughout the massage is CRUCIAL. In fact, it’s the whole point! So allow tears, anger, rage, laughter etc to come up and out whenever it needs to. All is welcome, welcome it all!
Orgasm is not the point here. Pleasure may arise and pain may also appear. Welcome both and express both. Try not to get trapped in overthinking, stay out of your head as much as you can and let your body just do it’s thing. Trust she knows what and how she needs to release.
The Yoni is map of our entire system, its a reflexology zone in Chinese Medicine. So there are certain zones in the yoni associated with the organs and glands throughout the body which creates a healing effect on the whole.
Dearmoring can be done all over the body in Shamanic and Tantric Dearmoring processes, however, it always is utilized for the freeing up of sexual energy. The abdomen, diaphragm, psoas muscle, pubic bone area, pelvic floor and hip flexors are the areas focused on when working with the body.
The process utilizes pressure points, strong vibration, breath and the movement of your sexual energy through your whole body to loosen, break up, and remove your body’s armor. We, however, are sticking specifically to Tantric Dearmorning Yoni Massage and Vaginal Reflexology in this practice.
From the entrance of the vagina to about an inch (2.5 cm) into the vagina is the kidney zone.
The negative emotions that can lead to physical imbalances in the kidney area are: fear, guilt, shame and frigidity. When our kidneys are well balanced, we experience states of calm, inner peace, tranquility and gentile.
A common issue that women experience in this area is vulvodynia, and it can be understood as deep chronic tension and pain from the stuck and contracted energy and the fear and lack of trust in this area.
About 1-2 inches (2.5-5cm) inside of the vaginal canal is the liver zone.
When we experience frequent anger, frustration, greed, jealousy, irritability, it definitely has to be done on the liver. When the liver is in balance, we feel generous, generous, we accept ourselves and others.
Spleen / Pancreas
About 3-4 inches (7-10cm) inside of the vaginal canal is the spleen and pancreas zone.
Stress, anxiety and worry are signs of imbalances in this area. When the spleen/pancreas are balanced, we experience emotions such as opening, centering, stability.
At the cervix, or the area around the cervix.
Sadness, depression, self-criticism, nostalgia – all lead to lung health problems. When negative emotions are unlocked, and our lungs are healthy, we live in self-confidence, enthusiasm, and the joy of living today.
Center of the cervix.
If the area is stagnant, it can lead to hatred, heart-shutdown and a disconnection from the world. It can lead to women giving up on hope, sex, life and being mean to others and themselves.
When this area is open, flowing and de-armored, what is more naturally experienced is love, joy and compassion.
Sexually, it is also important, because if there is tension and shutdown in this area, then sex in this area can be painful and you can feel hatred or rejection to your partner and to penetration. When it is open, it is easier to feel love and connection to your partner.
Many women today have their hearts shut. The heart shuts partly due to the deep emotional wounds that have accumulated over time. Mainly, it shuts especially because women allowed their heart to be penetrated by force.
How can this happen? It is very simple.
Remember that a woman’s cervix corresponds, energetically, to the reflex point of the Heart! Practically, when the lingam (penis) comes in contact with this special point, it actually penetrates, at the subtle level, the heart of the woman! This is why opening a woman’s heart is SO vital before physical penetration.
If she accepts a man/woman sexually, before feeling him/her in her heart, then that man/woman will virtually penetrate into the heart of that woman by force!
We have disregarded our own bodies so much that we think it's normal. This practice helps us re-connect and work out the pain in a nourishing way that alleviates past wounds and opens us up to how sacred this space really is. She needs our protection and our love.
Yoni mapping has essentially the same effects as vaginal reflexology.
In yoni mapping, you would draw out a clock shape where 12 o’clock is the pubic bone side and 6 o’clock is the anus side of the face of a clock. You then mark the spots where there is pain and pleasure with a pen and paper on your “map”. You would make several clock circles representing different depths of the vaginal canal until you reach the cervix. And voila…you now know your yoni’s topography of emotions, pain, tension and pleasure.
In Yoni mapping, you then can “connect” pain points with pleasure points to rewire the sensation. We do this by finding a pain point and working on it out with massage and sounding then find a pleasure point and draw a line of pleasure to the pain. Let the pain know it can now open to a different sensation. You are essentially working on the nervous system of the yoni. Nerves can rewire when imprinted with different synapse’s firing. And yes, it works!
When I first started the mapping process, I realized that I had pockets of deep pleasure on the right side of my yoni and a lot of numbness or less sensation including some very painful points on my left side. I started connecting to my turn on and finding pleasure then tracing that pleasure over to the left side. This lead to increased sensation and eventually lead to the experience of pleasure instead of pain on my left side.
There is so much to explore within the realm of the YONIVERSE! Please honor yourselves this week as Dearmoring can bring up a lot. This is again where we use the tools that have previously been taught. You might need to slow it down and RESOURCE yourself during the practice. Go slow as a rule of thumb. If you have a stress cycle coming to completion in the form of anger, tears, kicking, screaming than you’ve probably done enough for the day! Always finish the practice with some sweet, loving stillness with nourishing breath.
Contemplation Q’s: How do you armor yourself against the world? What would my life be like truly free from the past conditioning? What I am willing to let go of to create more free-flowing energy in my body? Can you use your voice in a way like never before??